Asexuality Explained

Welcome to our all about asexuality page! Asexuality is an umbrella term that encompasses many other identities, including those who are aromantic, demisexual, grey a, or queerplatonic. We will break down these terms for you below. If you are or think you might be asexual, it’s important to remember that you do not have to commit to one label over the other. You could choose to use no labels at all! This page is simply here to help you better understand these terms and is no way representative of every asexual experience. For more in depth information, head on over to The Trevor Project.

ASEXUAL: A sexual orientation that typically refers someone who experiences little, no, or conditional sexual attraction. If someone is asexual, they might refer to themselves as “ace”

To understand asexuality, it is vital to mention that asexuality exists on a spectrum that is unique to the individual. Although some asexuals only desire a romantic relationship without the sexual component, some asexuals have some interest in sex, although less than what is typical, while others simply do not wish to have casual sex with someone they do not know. Refer to some of the terms below to better understand the terms under the ace umbrella.

Aromantic: Describes someone who has little, conditional, or no interest in romantic relationships.

The terms asexual and aromantic are sometimes described together as a single sexual/romantic orientation. Someone could identify as an “asexual aromantic” meaning they are not interested in sexual or romantic relationships and may prefer platonic friendships. However, the terms asexual and aromantic can be combined with other identities as well. Please see the examples below.

Asexual Biromantic: Someone who does not experience sexual attraction but who is romantically attracted to multiple genders. In other words, someone may still want a romantic relationship with multiple genders, but may not feel the same sexual attraction towards their partner compared to those who identify as bisexual.

Pansexual Aromantic: Someone who is sexually attracted to someone regardless of gender but who may be uninterested in a romantic relationship with them.

All of these terms can be switched and combined depending on the feelings of the individual.

DEMISEXUAL: A sexual orientation that refers to someone who only wants to experience a sexual relationship once they get to know their partner.

For demisexuals, a deep connection to their potential sexual partner is essential in order for them to be sexually attracted to them. While other individuals may engage in casual sex or sex with strangers, it is important for demisexuals to have a type of emotional connection prior to the sexual connection. However, It is up to the individual what exactly constitutes “knowing their partner” or to what extent that emotional connection goes. As with all of the terms under the asexual umbrella, it’s up to the individual to decide what these definitions mean for them.

Grey A: Someone who may experience some sexual attraction, but who lies in between asexual and sexual.

Someone who is Grey A is typically less interested in sexual relationships than the typical “sexual” individual. A Grey A individual might find that they do not express as many sexual thoughts or feelings as their friends but still do experience some sexual attraction. Again, the exact lines between definitions are impossible to measure or pinpoint and it’s up to the individual to interpret.

Queerplatonic: A relationship void of the romantic component but transcends a typical friendship.

Queerplatonic denotes a relationship devoid of any type of sexual attraction. However, as the definition states, a queerplatonic relationship feels different than other friendships one might have. It is perhaps deeper or more emotional.

Even though some of these terms may be confusing to those outside of the Ace community, no matter where you or your loved one may or may not fall under the asexual umbrella is valid. Asexuality is a real and valid sexual orientation.

Check out our book recs featuring Asexual characters!